Let the Holiday Hatred Commence.... | Step Talk

I hate holidays...except Halloween, but now even my fave holiday is under attack. DH insists that we have SD for EVERY holiday and since BM doesn't give a sh!t, he usually gets her. For the last 5 years, we have taken her with us to my family's get togethers (usually lunch at my Mum & SF's), and for the last 5 years we have had to leave early (usually only spend about 2-3 hours there) because either BM wanted SD home at a specific time or because SD wants to leave. I rarely see my family as it is, so it would be nice if I could partake in the card playing and chit chatting that occurs after dinner (and gifts on Xmas). DH's family doesn't celebrate together (all they do is fight, and after attempting to have a family holiday at our house, I refuse to ever do it again) so we usually take SD over to MIL's to see her and BIL2.
This year, I asked DH if there was any way that we could go to Thanksgiving dinner at my parents minus SD so I could spend some time with my family. Especially since my grandparents & Aunt are ailing in health and my nephew(and godson! she just asked me yesterday) is growing so fast and I've only seen him ONCE. I'd also like to get to know my brother's GF better, since it seems likely they will be getting engaged (hopefully SOON!). I rarely get to speak with them at the holidays because I am chasing SD around ensuring she doesn't burn down my parents' house. The rest of the year everyone's schedules just don't mix and no one can get together. I'm just asking for Thanksgiving, not Xmas. I know my family would like to see SD open her presents.
DH flipped out when I asked this. Acting like I asked him to abandon her on the side of a highway in Nebraska. He said that I am asking him to 'leave SD alone on the holidays'. I informed him she would NOT be alone, she'd be with her mother, stepdad and grandmother. We've had her the last 5 YEARS, they can take her on this one. He agreed to do it, albeit he'll come up with a scheme to haul her along anyway.
This conversation led to one regarding Christmas and spending amounts. I usually make up a list about this time of year of everyone we are gifting and the dollar amounts I am going to spend on each. I like to start shopping mid-October, before the prices jackup on everything and to avoid the rush. I get a bonus check from work around the 15th of December for $1200-1500, this usually goes toward paying off any Xmas loans I took out to get shopping done before the first week of December and towards any final shopping that needs done. In the past, I have usually gone Xmas shopping for SD with DH, and typically he would load the cart with whatever and I would blindly pay for it without question. Well in the past 5 years, on average, I have spent about $850.00 on SD for Christmas. This is ridiculous, and with my new-found disgust for SD, I don't think I should have to personally spend THAT much on her nor should anyone spend THAT much on a child for Xmas! I told DH I would spend $300.00 of my bonus check. I haven't been able to use MY BONUS (or my paychecks period) to get myself anything for almost 5 years. I want to have some left over to get MYSELF something for Xmas. I told DH I don't care if he supplements my $300.00 by buying things himself, as long as it doesn't affect his part of the bills. He acted hurt by this. Our spending on her has been ridiculous in past years! I think $300.00 is MORE than enough.
I could just grrr....About to say, fine, I won't spend ANYTHING on her and you can buy it all. I'll get family presents and that's it.

Source: http://www.steptalk.org/node/81099